Hoarders Anonymous 33 comments  

I have a problem. I’m addicted to shopping for scrapbooking supplies. They say admitting you have a problem is the first step. I’m just trying to figure out what step that is. Is it the step towards freedom from clutter or a giant fall towards the next 30% off sale?

I’m guessing it is the latter. I can’t help it if I just love pawing through all of my goodies. And it is even more exciting when I go to look for something and can actually find it! I have reorganized so many times that when it comes to finding something it’s much like being on a Game Show.  For less than 2 hours on this layout: is the blue brad with the baby supplies, the all boy pile or the colored brad box? Bob, I believe I can find that product in two tries. Queue the music…

I want to stop buying, I really do, but it just isn’t possible. I just love having the latest and greatest. I’ve got piles on top of piles and some things are still in the bags or boxes they came in. And sadly, I can’t let anything go. I just know the day after I toss that 7 year old piece of paper I’m going to have a use for it. So I’ve finally come to the conclusion that I’m not going to stop. Not only am I incapable, it just doesn’t make sense. Sure, my kids will be forced to get scholarships and my husband may have to get a second job to support my habit, but in the long run, it’s all about the memories, right? If I don’t preserve them with pretty papers and miles of ribbons who will?

So here’s my new plan: I’m going to face my fears and take on my addiction twelve baby steps at a time. It’s a modified 12-step program that lets me come to terms with my addiction rather than try to overcome it, because let’s face it, that just isn’t going to happen. I will be recruiting volunteers for this Hoarders Anonymous session being held in the basement of my local Scrapbook store. Feel free to join me and bring snacks.

The Hoarders Anonymous Program:
1. I admit that I’m powerless to stop scrapping—that my supplies have become unorganized and chaotic and I’m okay with that.
2. I believe there is a power greater than myself that can restore my sanity and it is called organization and it has a cousin called reorganization.
3. I will make the decision to purge supplies by giving them to my children and stealing them back if the need ever arises.
4. I will make a fearless list of my supplies. This includes die-cuts and deco scissors. Humiliation can work miracles.
5. Profess to my family how important these memories will be to them and to their offspring. Feeling free to throw in guilt and bribes.
6. Remove items that predate my oldest child. It is okay to let go, but in case of emergency, refer to Step number 3.
7. Embrace the words “on sale” to justify future purchases.
8. Devise a plan that will help me to not purchase duplicate items again and again.
9. Apologize to those whose space and college funds I am infringing upon.
10. Continue to take inventory and rearrange and reorganize when necessary.
11. Search the soul for a way to come to terms with my supplies and the glares from family members that just don’t get me.
12. Having come to terms with my addiction, I will make every effort to use my supplies to the best of my abilities.

So there you have it, my program for successful hoarding and reorganizing. I’ve also come to the conclusion that more space will be needed. Apparently my husband has sensed that I’m on the prowl for more room and that explains the barricade in front of his workbench in the garage. Silly man, if I can move 2 tons of patterned paper every three weeks, a little thing like two sawhorses with a pile of wood and a “Back Off” sign doesn’t have a chance.