Strange dilemma here

Moderator: ACOT Employee

Strange dilemma here

Postby Julie M. » Fri Dec 15, 2017 8:37 pm

I would really love some opinions here. So my stepkids, all adults, have kids. I would call them my grandkids, (in my heart they are) but they have made it painfully clear that I am NOT the kids grandmother. I have done pages of the kids from the rare times they have visited us or we have visited them (they don't visit anymore because we moved to a small boring town in BFE KS and don't live in So Cal anymore where there are so many fun things to do close by and they can't be bothered to spend the money to come visit where there is nothing to do). I keep scrapping their pics, or do I just scrap pics of the family that does visit? We get very few if any pics from any of them anymore. I do still scrap my grandkids from my daughter because I see them several times a year and they talk to me. What would you do? I don't know if my pages for my steps will ever get to them so do I do them anyway and hope that someday they will get them, or just concentrate on the family that does care? It's a dilemma that truly does hurt my heart. 

Julie M.
Cherry Blossom
Posts: 162
Layouts: 61
Location: Kansas

Re: Strange dilemma here

Postby average_kim » Fri Dec 15, 2017 8:46 pm

That is heartbreaking. My first thoughts are that I'd focus on the ones you see and that visit. But then I'd probably make some pages for your DH, unless it hurts too much to work on those photos... I guess I don't have specific advice, but the scrapbooking should be a fun/relaxing hobby, and more fulfilling to me if the people getting them later would appreciate them.  But you never know what/how they might change in the future ...


Cherry Cropper
Posts: 10148
Layouts: 830

Re: Strange dilemma here

Postby CarrieG » Fri Dec 15, 2017 8:46 pm

first I am very sorry that you are in this situation :(  with that said...scrapping is supposed to be a fun hobby that allows us to chronicle OUR life and those who are around us.  I don't think there are scrap what YOU want to scrap....what makes you happy....for some ppl its their pets, for other kids or oldest very seldom gets scrapped....he lives in a diff state....occasionally sends me a photo...his fiancé and him have cats not I have very little to I worry about it???  nope  I scrap a pic he sends if I find it worthy to document....and know that as our kids and families get older....our scrapping will evolve...........
big hugs and I hope you are able to come to figure it out and work thru the hurt <3

Cherry Cola
Posts: 6850
Layouts: 874
Location: Texas

Re: Strange dilemma here

Postby wimom » Fri Dec 15, 2017 11:37 pm

They truly are your grandkids in your heart, so I think you should scrap their pictures/memories for yourself, and for your husband. Don't worry about whether the pages will or will not go to those grandkids in the future; scrap for you and your husband in the present.
Rhonda -- Scrappin' in Wisconsin

Sweet Cherry Pie
Posts: 1131
Layouts: 268
Location: Wisconsin

Re: Strange dilemma here

Postby Scrap Bug » Sat Dec 16, 2017 12:51 am

For me, scrapping is a hobby and I only scrap for myself.  I have many layouts of people who will probably never see the layouts themselves.  Some are of weddings or occasions where now they're divorced and probably wouldn't like me having the layouts, but they are for me and from my memories so I will create what I want.

Just do this for you, follow your heart.  I'm sorry you've been put in this position.  BTW, I know what it's like moving to a not fun place and having no one visit.  We had a lot of visitors when we lived in a fun recreation and vacation area on the West Coast, but when we moved to the Mexican border in Texas 10 years ago - all the people who said they were excited to come see us and explore a new area - ha, yeah right!  My parents are the only ones who come on a regular basis.  They will visit once or twice a year.  My in-laws have visited us once in all the ten years we've been here - never even bothered to go to their only grandkids' graduations.  One of my beautiful nieces grew up (well, they all did) and on her own she flew out here last year for her cousin's (my daughter) graduation.  She keeps talking about coming back.  Our other visitors?  Yeah, right.  No siblings, friends, nada.

Scrap Bug
Cherry Bomb
Posts: 3538
Layouts: 231
Location: South Texas

Re: Strange dilemma here

Postby sdwhru » Sat Dec 16, 2017 1:28 pm

I don’t have any words of wisdom - just like the other ladies I feel like scrapping is a very personal thing so I scrap what I want not what any one else wants.  I never see my dh’s daughter anymore (she lives in another state) so most of the pics of her went into his album and not our family album.  The pics of all of us together went into family album.  But the ones of just him and her went into his album. 

Cherry Cropper
Posts: 10478
Layouts: 332

Re: Strange dilemma here

Postby Julie M. » Sun Dec 17, 2017 12:43 am

Thank you ladies for all of your insight. I think I am going to concentrate mostly on family we do see. I may do some of the pics we have from the past eventually. If not, then I will just leave them in their photo boxes. I haven't bothered looking at the older pics since this summer, and with the holidays I guess I am feeling sad. My wish of having our family's all together for the holidays (from the past...I used to wish for that) is one that I know we will never see and I just know how it was with my family when my kids were growing was everything and we always got together. I always imagined that some day we would have all the kids and grandkids home at some point. I have even thought recently of putting a note inside the scrapbooks I had started for everyone, explaining that it was never that I didn't love them, that I do, but due to things by beyond my control we up were not allowed (I will not say not able because we have gone well out of our way despite our limited income to go see them until things escalated with them in the last yr and a half) to have a relationship with them (some we have never seen, some we haven't seen in years) so this would only go in the ones we did spend time with. 

Scrap Bug, I am sorry you have had to experience this also. It is definitely disappointing. But you made a good point of having pages that may never go to anyone. 

Julie M.
Cherry Blossom
Posts: 162
Layouts: 61
Location: Kansas

Return to General Talk

Free Newsletter
Inspiration. New Techniques.
Sales. Events.

Additional Options