Cheater debate.

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antdiva80
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Cheater debate.

Post by antdiva80 » Sat Mar 14, 2009 6:21 pm

I have a freind who is a really nice guy. He was my fiance's roomate. I recently discovered his girlfriend that he is living with cheated on him with his best friend. She got pregnant with the best friend's child and then had an abortion. It all happened a few years ago.

Out of the 9 people who know no one is willing to tell him about it.

I want to tell him because she commented on wanting to have his baby.

The best friend is getting married in May and both the nice guy and the cheater girlfriend are going.

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-Shannon-
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Re: Cheater debate.

Post by -Shannon- » Sat Mar 14, 2009 6:24 pm

 If it was a few years ago and their relationship is fine now why tell him? How do you know he doesn't already know and just doesn't care to discuss it with everyone??
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antdiva80
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Re: Cheater debate.

Post by antdiva80 » Sat Mar 14, 2009 6:27 pm

I left out the part where during the same time she cheated on him with another friend and he flipped out and broke off the relationships with both of them. He was dumped by this really mean girl about a year ago and started enjoying the night time activities of the cheater again. She apologized for cheating on him with the friend she got caught with and he took her back. He wouldn't keep her ifhe knew about the other friend.

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Re: Cheater debate.

Post by -Tracy- » Sat Mar 14, 2009 6:31 pm

 Honestly I don't think it's any of your business. (sorry if that sounds harsh, I don't mean it to). :?

I wouldn't get involved in this. You're just going to cause hurt feelings/embarassment between many people by bringing it up.
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Re: Cheater debate.

Post by -Shannon- » Sat Mar 14, 2009 6:33 pm

-Tracy- wrote: Honestly I don't think it's any of your business. (sorry if that sounds harsh, I don't mean it to). :?

I wouldn't get involved in this. You're just going to cause hurt feelings/embarassment between many people by bringing it up.
I agree.
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Re: Cheater debate.

Post by antdiva80 » Sat Mar 14, 2009 6:36 pm

 I guess you are right. I think it sucks that this friends would be more worried about not embarassing themselves.

Basically they are laughing about him being an idiot behind his back.

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Re: Cheater debate.

Post by -Tracy- » Sat Mar 14, 2009 6:38 pm

antdiva80 wrote: Basically they are laughing about him being an idiot behind his back.

Then they're not really his friends.
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Re: Cheater debate.

Post by 4peasinourpod » Sat Mar 14, 2009 6:40 pm

-Shannon- wrote:
-Tracy- wrote: Honestly I don't think it's any of your business. (sorry if that sounds harsh, I don't mean it to). :?

I wouldn't get involved in this. You're just going to cause hurt feelings/embarassment between many people by bringing it up.
I agree.
I am with my peeps on this one :winkb:
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Re: Cheater debate.

Post by ScrapGoo » Sat Mar 14, 2009 6:42 pm

I think it depends on how close you are to him... or rather how close the secret teller is.  I also think it depends on how the cheater measures up in other areas of the relationship.  Is she a wonderful partner to him? Does she treat him well despite what happened in the past?  Or are there other sketchy factors here that would make the people that know about this want to get her out of his life?

Coming from my own personal experiences I would want to know. 

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Re: Cheater debate.

Post by antdiva80 » Sat Mar 14, 2009 6:49 pm

 I guess I just look at it not to be hurtful, but I would definatly want to know.

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Re: Cheater debate.

Post by antdiva80 » Sat Mar 14, 2009 6:51 pm

 She's a pretty shady girl. His best friend made a mistake a while ago, but if it wouldn't bother him I don't get why it would be such a big deal to tell him. If he decides to keep her in his life then that's cool, but I think he should have a choice.

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Re: Cheater debate.

Post by -Tracy- » Sat Mar 14, 2009 6:52 pm

 Do you even know if it's actually true, or is it just the gossip amongst his 'friends' behind his back?  Like Shannon said, they may have already settled this between themselves without telling everyone about it. If that's the case, it's them you would embarass by dragging it out again, kwim?
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Re: Cheater debate.

Post by antdiva80 » Sat Mar 14, 2009 6:57 pm

 The best friend admitted it when we were drinking one night in Reno. SO I don't think he would have admitted it if he didn't actually do it since he is getting married soon.

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Re: Cheater debate.

Post by -Tracy- » Sat Mar 14, 2009 7:04 pm

 Well again, you don't know if they've already talked about it between themselves.

Your fiance lived with him and he won't tell the guy-perhaps there is a reason why? Don't you think he's going to be upset with you for 'stirring the pot' amongst his friends?

I can't see any scenario where this ends well. :?
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Re: Cheater debate.

Post by -Shannon- » Sat Mar 14, 2009 7:05 pm

-Tracy- wrote:
antdiva80 wrote: Basically they are laughing about him being an idiot behind his back.

Then they're not really his friends.
Clearly Tracy is in my head today. Again, I agree.
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Re: Cheater debate.

Post by bigsmartass » Sat Mar 14, 2009 7:08 pm

 While I would want to know.. there are way to many horror stories to ever reccommend to someone that they tell their friend their SO cheated.  It's really a tough spot to be in!
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Re: Cheater debate.

Post by antdiva80 » Sat Mar 14, 2009 7:17 pm

 There is not pot stirring. While I was dissappointed in my fiance I understand him not wanting to be the one who said something. He would be breaking a friendship that is really long.

I would feel pitty for him if she got pregnant and it was too late for him to realize what kind of person she was/is.

I know myself that if my guy cheated on me once I might forgive but twice or more with my friends I would end it.

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Re: Cheater debate.

Post by -Tracy- » Sat Mar 14, 2009 7:18 pm

 
He would be breaking a friendship that is really long.


I think that by you telling him, this would still be the result unfortunately.
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Re: Cheater debate.

Post by JeanG » Sat Mar 14, 2009 7:20 pm

 Tracy's in my head on this one, too!  I agree with her totally!  The only exception if you are extremely close friends with the guy and have been for years....i.e. I have 2 male friends I'm close to and would tell them; I'd keep my mouth shut to any others. If you haven't seen her cheating yourself, I'd stay out of it.
I wonder, sometimes, if we ever give God a headache.

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antdiva80
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Re: Cheater debate.

Post by antdiva80 » Sat Mar 14, 2009 7:28 pm

 Thanks ladies. I appreciate the input. I have to leave for a while, but I will try and check back tonight.

I'm still sad for him though. :(

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