hurting so much more

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Cherry Garcia
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hurting so much more

Post by SherrieLynne » Fri Mar 14, 2014 9:08 am

OMG! Most of you don't have a clue what I have been going through for the last 4 years. My sister took my mom from me and I haven't seen or talked to her. Now my sister is not having a funeral or visitation for my mom. She is having a burial at the VA Home and you have to be on an invited list to go. OMG how can she do this? I just can't believe there can be someone so evil.

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Re: hurting so much more

Post by DN in MN » Fri Mar 14, 2014 9:13 am

I can believe someone can be that evil.  I feel your pain.  For me, it was four aunt's with my grandparent's ashes.  It is so heartbreaking.  I hope you get some resolution soon!
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Re: hurting so much more

Post by christinec68 » Fri Mar 14, 2014 9:14 am

I have no words Sherrie. I  am so sorry your sister is doing this to you.  

Maybe have your own memorial service to celebrate your mother's life and mourn with the people you love and who love you.  

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Re: hurting so much more

Post by JillinIN » Fri Mar 14, 2014 9:16 am

OMG. That's so awful. I'm so sorry. It's hard to understand how people can be so cruel.

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Re: hurting so much more

Post by Flasher » Fri Mar 14, 2014 9:20 am

Again, I cannot imagine what you're going through.  There isn't much we can do to avoid the evilness of some people.  I know your heart is breaking.  I think Christine has a great idea.  Maybe have your own memorial service for your mother.  I'm sorry.
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Re: hurting so much more

Post by gonecamping » Fri Mar 14, 2014 9:24 am

That is heartbreaking. I am so sorry for the pain you are going through. I think Christines idea is great too. HUGS!

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Re: hurting so much more

Post by cajenkins81 » Fri Mar 14, 2014 9:42 am

I am so sorry you are having to deal with this. People can be mean for sure, and I've seen it happen all too often when someone passes on. I agree with holding  your own memorial service. Find your own way to celebrate your mother and your own way to find closure. So sorry. 
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Re: hurting so much more

Post by Ayla » Fri Mar 14, 2014 9:44 am

I don't understand how people can be so cruel either. Your sister must harbor a lot of hate to be able to shut you out like this, and that hatred is eventually going to eat her away as well. With how much your sister was cutting your mom off from the outside world and the rest of her family, perhaps she is now in a better place, where she can see whom she wants, and watch your children and grandchildren from afar. I know that doesn't replace actually having her there, but maybe you can gain some peace from knowing that you never stopped caring and loving her, and your love now goes to her on angel's wings.
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Re: hurting so much more

Post by Melissa S. » Fri Mar 14, 2014 9:48 am

Sherrie Lynn, I'm so sorry for your pain and loss.  My father's wife did the very same type of thing and the heartache was unbearable and just knowing there are some people who can be so mean and petty is astounding.  I'm very sorry for you.

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Re: hurting so much more

Post by suslvgeo » Fri Mar 14, 2014 9:56 am

oh Sherrie, I can't even put into words here how I feel about this. ImageImageImage

I love the idea of having a memorial service for your mom and Ayla is right, now your mom can see you and know that you love her very much. May you find peace during this time and know the cherries are always here for you!!!
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Re: hurting so much more

Post by butterfly843 » Fri Mar 14, 2014 9:58 am

I'm so sorry, I do think you should do your own memorial service for your mom. I don't understand how people, especially family members can be so cruel.

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Re: hurting so much more

Post by beachlover » Fri Mar 14, 2014 10:02 am

I am so sorry you have to deal with your sister being so horrible on top of the loss of your mom; I agree with Christine's thought too...  you need to have a way to say goodbye for yourself, so make your own arrangements and try not to let your sister make this tragedy even worse! 
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Re: hurting so much more

Post by Deanna13 » Fri Mar 14, 2014 10:51 am

Sherrie, I'm so very sorry your sister is acting like this! That's so sad! My heart breaks for you. I agree about having your own little memorial service. Lots of hugs!

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Re: hurting so much more

Post by average_kim » Fri Mar 14, 2014 11:18 am

So sorry for your loss and the way your sister is acting.  hugs and prayers for you and your family.

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Re: hurting so much more

Post by ratgirl » Fri Mar 14, 2014 11:18 am

Family members can be so horrid. It's like they say, they know how to press our buttons because they installed them. Image People also often act especially nasty when someone they love dies. They want someone to blame, they want everything to be their own version of "perfect" and it doesn't matter who they hurt. I'm sure the people at the after-burial will be upset that you weren't invited. Surely, after 4 years, they know that she's shutting you out unfairly and that's why you can't be there.

Honestly, I don't think you can be prohibited from attending the burial. Of course, it's up to you to decide if you think that would instigate too much drama if your sister throws a fit.

It sounds like you aren't the only one she has shut out who cares deeply about your mother. Are they planning a memorial together? Surely they would want you there.

I know that the hardest part is the time with your mom, when she was alive, that was stolen from you. It wasn't right and wasn't fair, and I'm so so sorry. I know about family lunacy, but I also know I can't possibly understand how painful that is for you. Try to be gentle with yourself, don't let your sister hurt you more than she already has (easier said than done, but still...), and do whatever you need to do to celebrate your mother's life and say goodbye, at least for now. Best of luck to you.

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Re: hurting so much more

Post by blbabe1234 » Fri Mar 14, 2014 11:26 am

That is so wrong! I am so sorry Sherrie!
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Re: hurting so much more

Post by emmapaige » Fri Mar 14, 2014 12:52 pm

Oh Sherrie, I am so sorry you are having to deal with this.  It's painful enough to lose a parent but when family members are so cruel, that is especially difficult. My thoughts and prayers are with you!!
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Re: hurting so much more

Post by mgehrke » Fri Mar 14, 2014 1:11 pm

Oh Sherrie my heart hurts for you. I have never heard of such curelness. Take the advise of the other Cherries and have your own memorial. It will be as you want it to be and you can then have closure. (((HUGS))) to you and no I can't even imagine what you are going through now.
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Re: hurting so much more

Post by need2scrap » Fri Mar 14, 2014 1:19 pm

Oh Sherrie that is so mean.  I'm so sorry you are going through this. 

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Re: hurting so much more

Post by citygirl22 » Fri Mar 14, 2014 1:54 pm

I am so sorry you're having to deal with this. People can be so cruel and unfair sometimes. Is there any family member who is "neutral" and can work as a mediator of sorts between you and your sister? Maybe if someone just sat down with her and explained that now was a time to put differences aside she would come around? If not, I agree with the idea of having your own memorial service. It's important to celebrate and honor your mom's legacy, even if you do it "unofficially" and away from the rest of the family. 
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